"The Jazz are limping into the playoffs," the boss continued, "but that doesn't mean the other guys -- unless it's the Lakers -- are without their problems."

So what happens?

The Jazz crumble like a week-old coffee cake and finish as the No. 8 seed in the Western Conference. They open the playoffs against the issue-less Lakers on Sunday in Los Angeles.

Now, I've been in this business long enough to learn one thing: ROOT for yourself.

That means no overtime for games you are covering, especially on deadline.

That means no huge comebacks, which can destroy a perfectly good story that is already written.

That means no columns about the shortcomings of a team without warts, like these 65-win Lakers who finished 11 games clear of any other team in the West.

Selfishly speaking, I have been wondering why the Jazz couldn't have ended up playing Denver, which hasn't won a playoff series since the Clinton administration?

Why not Portland, which is younger than Twitter?

Why not Houston, which couldn't beat the Jazz with Tracy McGrady and a 2-0 head start in a best-of-seven series?

Why not San Antonio, which is more beat up right now than your 401k?

Why not New Orleans -- at least I could pull out the "Chris Paul is 2-11 against Deron Williams" card?

If the Jazz were playing any of those teams, a column about their shortcomings would have already been written, filed and posted online.

Instead, I have to write about the blemish-less Lakers, whose only problem at this point in their season appears to be how many precious stones they want to decorate their championship rings.

Maybe they can call Vanessa Bryant for a little lapidary advice.

OK, OK.

Nobody's perfect and neither are the Lakers.

? They won only 21 of their first 24 games this season.

? They beat LeBron James and Eastern Conference favorite Cleveland twice, but only by a combined total of 27 points.

? They didn't secure the best record in the West until March 27.

? Finally, L.A.'s second-round pick from 2007 -- a 6-foot-9 forward from China named Sun Yue -- looks like a Yao Ming-sized bust.

Too bad for the Jazz that third-year center Andrew Bynum -- not Sun Yue -- will be clogging the lane against them in their upcoming playoff series.

Speaking of Bynum, he could have been a perfect subject for a column about the Lakers' problems, except his surgically repaired knee looks fine.

Bynum was sidelined for two months because of the injury, which he suffered on Jan. 31. But he returned two weeks ago -- just in time to shake the rust off his game and solidify the Lakers' frontcourt for their playoff run.

No problem with Bynum.

Teammate Lamar Odom could have been this season's unhappy Laker, given the club's unwillingness to extend his contract last fall.

Instead of pouting, however, Odom has played exceptionally well -- especially when Bynum was injured -- and assured himself of a big payday as an unrestricted free agent next summer.

If the Lakers eventually lose Odom, there will be a gaping hole in coach Phil Jackson's rotation.

But today?

The Lakers have no holes, meaning there is little chance for opponents in these playoffs.

STEVE LUHM is The Tribune's national NBA writer and can be reached at luhm@sltrib.com